It is really sad how bad many Bible movies are. Movie Reviews. They’re British. Bigger Than Imagination. People need to know that the Bible isn’t just a bunch of silly mostly-untrue narratives. There are fart jokes, some drinking, a bit of cartoonish violence, and a spat where one female cat calls another one fat. Movies like The Ark only contribute to this cultural storyline, and perhaps purposely so. Animals are seen drinking from goblets, sometimes raucously, to suggest drunkenness. The truth is that truly watchable Scripture-based films are very few and far between. But if that doesn't do it, the rest of the film will -- animals plot murder (sometimes rather explicitly), while Xiro the lion king-in-waiting has to decide whether he will ever stop chasing a promiscuous tiger named Panty (not kidding) long enough to get his act together and lead. Change ), The Ark {Noah’s Ark} [2015] (Movie Review), Follow Box Office Revolution on WordPress.com, Following the Subplots of The Chosen (Season 1, Episodes 5-8), Following the Subplots of The Chosen (Season 1, Mid-Season Update), Following the Subplots of The Chosen (Season 2, Episode 1: Thunder), Hitting the Breaks, Season 1 (Series Review), Lucy Shimmers and the Prince of Peace (Movie Review), Following the Subplots of The Chosen (Season 2, Episode 2: I Saw You), The Girl Who Believes in Miracles (Movie Review), Following the Subplots of The Chosen (Season 2, Episode 1: Thunder), Interview with Dallas Jenkins, Christian filmmaker. Noah is caring, respectful, and optimistic. Noahs Ark Found The Original Noah's Ark Documentary P1. ( Log Out /  There are too many modern nuances and costumes. Kairel is a strong female character -- brave, just, and determined. A retelling of the Biblical story of Noah and the Ark. We visited Noah’s Ark on Monday, July 16, 2018. Meet Noah, his family, and the animals on the Ark. Click here to login or here to sign up. In one scene, animals are cut to in a way that implies they've just had intercourse. Noah's Ark is supposed to be about the message from God to build the Ark, the struggles completing the project, the great flood, and of course the reason for it all which was mankind surviving and understanding why God did it. Even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the Biblical account of Noah’s Ark. Movie Times + Tickets. This is in no way historically accurate to the story in the bible, it contains what my grandson calls Furries and it's sexualised in some parts! In multiple scenes, killing or murdering and then eating other animals is explicitly discussed. 46:09. It begins with a long list of people who have claimed to see the Ark there, and how several of the stories match up. In … Positive messages about teamwork, what it means to be a leader, what it means to have faith in someone, the importance of keeping your word, and the importance of respecting life. Animated biblical tale has cartoonish violence, crass humor. 59:50. What's the impact of media violence on kids? 59:56. Experience Bible history at the life-size Noah’s Ark! Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization, earns a small affiliate fee from Amazon or iTunes when you use our links to make a purchase. The visuals are out of this world, particularly one scene depicting the creation of the universe from the big bang to a scientifically accurate representation of what Darwinian evolution … Join / Sign Up Keep track of your favorite shows and movies, across all your devices. Not only that, but it seems to suggest that the white characters, primarily only Noah’s family, are the ‘good’ characters, while the multicultural characters are the ‘bad’ ones. How can I use media to teach my kid teamwork? But Christian film makers have nothing to say about this unless they are going to make meaningful, accurate, and professional Bible-based movies that can overshadow movies like this one with better overall quality. 0:06 (PDF Download) Washday on Noah's Ark: A Story of Noah's Ark According to Glen Rounds PDF. As a character, Noah is inaccessible and lofty, a typical Bible character error. How did this movie compare to that? Noah's Ark is a biblical retelling that manages to potentially alienate both its natural audience of true believers and the secular crowd who might just enjoy a good story. If Noah’s family isn’t shown eating that mysterious pizza from The Bible miniseries, then they’re having childish skirmishes and fistfights with each other. Your purchase helps us remain independent and ad-free. David Threlfall plays Noah and Joanne Whalley plays his loyal wife with their three grown up sons living a hard working life in the desert (it was filmed in Morocco.) Total disappointment. Cute animated tale with some mild peril and scary bugs. The ark, built to scale on sets in Long Island and Brooklyn, is a primitive and powerful vessel, much like the movie that houses it. When have you used teamwork to achieve something in real life? There is no reason to recommend these kind of movies to anyone as they only make the Bible into a laughingstock. Reviews + Ratings. Cast + Crew. Elsewhere, there is plentiful animal growling and fang-bearing, and a significant portion of the plot involves animals conspiring to murder and feast on other animals. Directed by Kenneth Glenaan. What do you know of the original Noah story? 3:42. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. We had a great day. Here is the review of Noah's Ark Movie Review - Noah's Ark Movie Review Rating, can see the Runtime, Genre - cast and crew with Certificate Our ratings are based on child development best practices. As it is, the cast that has been assembled here is overly dramatic. Sweet father-son tale has some very scary moments. I don’t really know much about the film. Here, God is a nonchalant, golf-playing roustabout who is more concerned about getting good material for his future book than he is about how the animals and Noah will pull off his crazy loyalty test. Unfortunately, it cannot be effectively said that Christian-led Bible films are better than mainstream Bible films. In short, The Ark barely attempts to stay true to the historical truth. It’s not just that Noah denies shelter for … The movie totally missed the main part of the story ( i.e. If someone wants to complain about ethnocentrism in modern Western film, look no further than Bible films. Animals are sexualized and dance provocatively toward each other. This is, as you've gathered, an immense, weird, ungainly, often laughably overwrought and silly movie, an amalgamation of … The story of Noah's Ark is really about starting again. Fart jokes. What was it like? Watch Noah's Ark movie trailer and get the latest cast info, photos, movie review and more on TVGuide.com. The star rating reflects overall quality. All Critics; Top Critics; All Audience; All Critics Movie Reviews By Reviewer Type. This is a "so bad it's good" movie for adults, and might keep kids entertained simply because things are always happening. You need to be logged in to continue. ‘Noah’ movie review: Russell Crowe in a slightly different take on the biblical story. Here, God is a nonchalant, golf-playing roustabout who is more concerned about getting good material for his future book than he is about how the animals and Noah will pull off his crazy loyalty test. But we will begin with this film’s one positive quality—most of the characters seem authentic most of the time, such as actually getting dirty and muffed up. What happens if they run out of food, or worse, everyone turns on each other? This review is based on the 2014 DVD version of the movie, which omits some scenes from the 2007 original version. Despite opposition from his family and the people ‘in town’, Noah and his wife build the massive lifeboat almost singlehandedly before scrambling around and getting on the ark just as the flood waters rise. A lion refers to a list of potential suitors as "hot chicks" and is both. Good thing they were able to fit about thirty people and no animals on that giant vessel before the hurricanes overtook the planet. For a story out of the bible, there are surprisingly few good role models. This movie missed the mark by a mile. ( Log Out /  Keeping Kids Motivated for Online Learning, (or El arca) is an Argentine-Italian (dubbed into English) animated comedic retelling of the biblical story. Common Sense and other associated names and logos are trademarks of Common Sense Media, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization (FEIN: 41-2024986). Noah's Ark 1999 1. In another overly British production loosely based on Biblical events, Noah and his family are depicted as an angry, dysfunctional unit fighting to survive on their agricultural incomes in a world full of atheists and hedonists. If you haven’t figured it out yet, we didn’t particularly like this film. Why were you not as harsh on those producers? There are also a number of sexually-suggestive scenes that seem inappropriate for the target audience. But for kids who like animals and big boats, and parents who will take any version of a bible story they can get, there are ultimately positive messages about working together. Two animals fight, and one calls the other one fat. God is portrayed as being nonchalant, more interested in writing a book than anything else. The script is so dumb, so pointless, and yes, TOTALLY INACCURATE! There is bickering and infighting. Movie Review. A lion refers to a list of potential suitors as "hot chicks" and is both disparaging and disrespectful about them. The early setup, with its references to debt and gluttony and, yes, prostitution -- an attempt to show the world as a lost cause in need of a do-over in the shape of a flood -- will likely cause a bit of confusion for young kids. Two animals fight, exchanging kicks and punches. It appears that Noah’s Ark was released as an inspirational drama and later labeled as Christian. And what about the hesitant, vain lion king Xiro (James Keller) -- can he help them all get along if he can't even convince himself to lead? Bear in mind as you read this review that we are four senior citizens from SC. Two animals kiss briefly. URL. Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive, diverse representations in books, TV shows, and movies. We don't have any reviews for Noah's Ark. However, Ark takes it a step further with overt ethnocentrism and white-washing. David Threlfall does a wonderful job in playing the Noah of the Bible we have always imagined: a patient and kind man, dedicated, low key, but a determined sort of man. Noah, the unquestioned but mostly aloof patriarch, is told by an angel that a flood is going to sweep across the planet and destroy everything. A lion has a list of potential partners, referring to them as "hot chicks" and being disparaging and disrespectful. Noah’s fictional fourth son has a very large role, including his nightly illicit activities. Ages: 4-8 Themes: Jealousy, Contentment Purchase Price: $3.99 Have you ever been jealous of someone who seems to be better than you at everything? If you can ignore the greed, murder, sex, and farting jokes. Family Activities: Use these creative ideas for free activities to move, learn, relax, and connect as a family. But many of these lessons are muddled by a movie largely driven by constant bickering, politics, and murderous plots that are confusing or too, for younger kids. Noah's and everyone's limits are more than cosmically tested when he decides to take God up on the ultimate ask. The Ark review – Noah gets Shameless This entertaining retelling of the story of Noah was played pretty straight – maybe it could have done with a new twist . But otherwise, there is nothing good to say. By the time the two men trade blows, Noah isn't just fighting a murderous stowaway, he's fighting to suppress he own worst impulses. The BBC is especially bad about whitewashing historical and Biblical narratives. The world is waiting. Check out the exclusive TVGuide.com movie review and see our movie rating for Noah's Ark Join / Sign Up Keep track of your favorite shows and movies, across all your devices. Parents need to know that Noah's Ark (or El arca) is an Argentine-Italian (dubbed into English) animated comedic retelling of the biblical story. Did you find any of the scenes too extreme for a movie like this? Discovery. I've spent quite a while going through all the reviews for this film. I'm in total agreement with almost every reviewer in saying that Noah's Ark is crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! Suggest a diversity update. Many other characters are selfish, immature, and disrespectful, including the vain lion king, Xiro. While some Bible movies commit small inaccuracy errors, this one uses the characters and invents a primitive soap opera transposed on top of a natural disaster plotline. But how will Noah convince the animals, or his bickering family, for that matter, to get on board before the rain starts? Searching for streaming and purchasing options ... Common Sense is a nonprofit organization. Viewers will be exposed to a retelling of the biblical story of Noah and the ark. They’re also the only white people around. A majority of the time, dialogue is indiscernible due to unusually loud and annoying background music. Movie Reviews By Reviewer Type. Noahs Ark Found The Original Noah's Ark Documentary P2. That premise is amusing enough, but it plays out in a dragging plot overloaded with bickering and some pretty questionable material. I can understand making a few changes for … SDG Reviews ‘Noah’ Rocking the boat: The first major big-studio Bible film in decades is a provocative take on the venerable story of the Flood. 1 hr 40 min. More. The truth is, we can’t really be sure what ethnicity any of these people actually were—likely nothing like what we have today—but the least that could have been done was at least attempt to use primarily Middle Eastern actors and actresses. In one of the more explicitly perilous scenes, hungry animals imagine the fattening of pigs, slaughterhouse-style, then dropping them into pots of boiling water to eat later. Published On: Wed, Dec 16th, 2015 . Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2015. Also, there’s apparently no call for any animals to board the ark at all. Animals slam a door on another animal, but it is unharmed. The film is narrated by the famous actor Gary Sinise, but there was relatively little narration. What's the impact of media violence on kids? But many of these lessons are muddled by a movie largely driven by constant bickering, politics, and murderous plots that are confusing or too explicit for younger kids. No, on the contrary I think it is a really good thing - if I want to read the actual story, I'll read the Bible. The book of Genesis even tells us that cubits were a unit of measurement used at the time, how hard would it have been to do a little research and use that instead? Whenever we have been critical of a movie, we inevitably receive the following types of responses, and it’s important to address these up front. In one scene, an animal has cleavage. How can I use media to teach my kid teamwork? In short, there is no end to this movie’s problems. After all this is a BBC television movie and the budget was never going to be mega unless Russell Crowe had signed on. They work in harmony with nature. Did we mention these actors are British? Unlike many of … Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners. They’re also the only white people around. Discuss the positive messages in the movie. Noah’s relationship with God is replaced with odd conversations with an angel. © Common Sense Media. How would it change things? How Technology Is Reshaping Democracy and Our Lives. Browse titles with similar subject matter. It has some positive messages about teamwork and some nods to the notions about faith and loyalty found in the original tale. 5 Tips to Make Family Movie Night a Success. 2:35. They don’t wantonly kill either man or beast. Common Sense is the nation's leading nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of all kids and families by providing the trustworthy information, education, and independent voice they need to thrive in the 21st century. Nobody’s puppets, Noah and his family still try to live as cleanly as possible—to live as the Creator meant them to live. Did the fact that there were no serious consequences make a difference to how you felt about the scenes? What would it be, and why? You should however, see Noah because it is an amazing film, using the basic story of Noah's ark to deliver a fantasy action/adventure and a psychological horror story and deliver a very relevant ecological message that's subtle. 1. Good Movies. It looks like an all-ages family movie, but it contains some material that is suggestive, crass, mature, rude, and inappropriate or confusing for younger children. It is offensive and totally ridiculous that they could not at least try to be accurate in these areas. As a christian I do not find a unique interpretation of the Noah story a bad thing. Two by Two review – Noah’s ark animation is a washout 2 / 5 stars 2 out of 5 stars. I did chastise the Risen casting for being too British. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. All Critics; Top Critics; All Audience In just one scene, he falls out of character a bit when he is waiting on the rain … Breasts are referred to as "boobs" and a group of potential female suitors are called "hot chicks." Dove Review “Noah’s Ark” is a thought-provoking film, showing what might have logically happened behind the scenes of one of the greatest biblical stories ever told. Use these free activities to help kids explore our planet, learn about global challenges, think of solutions, and take action. A group of women are seen hanging out a balcony window batting their eyelashes -- it is suggested they are prostitutes in a brothel. That premise is … What happens in the version you are familiar with? Families can talk about the cartoon violence in Noah's Ark. It’s not easy being clean. If you chose to provide an email address, it will only be used to contact you about your comment. You haven’t seen the movie so how can you be critical of it? We don't have any reviews for Secrets of Noah's Ark. User Reviews. And they’re doing it in a very dirty age long before Babylon held the fertile crescent, before Egypt’s pyramids sprouted next to the Nile. ( Log Out /  All rights reserved. 5.0 out of 5 stars A Unique Take on Noah's Ark. Therefore, he needs to build a boat for him and his family—and a whole bunch of other random people—to be saved. Get full reviews, ratings, and advice delivered weekly to your inbox. Drama. Is there anything you would start again if you could? Less of the actual floods and the animals going two by two. Snygga. In short, The Ark isn’t even partially redeemed by professional production. A recurring tiger (named Panty, no less) exists seemingly for the sole purpose of luring a king to bed by flattering and seducing him. There are also a number of sexually-suggestive scenes that seem inappropriate for the target audience. Discovery . URL. New ‘Noah’s Ark’ film set for 2016 DVD release . Instead, this film opts for the sort of human-scaled realism that almost allows us to smell the dank stench of a menagerie cooped up for 40 days and nights on a water-swept barge. Women are portrayed as mostly silent kitchen helpers. How can people get along better when they are stuck with each other for a period of time? Noah's Ark is a biblical retelling that manages to potentially alienate both its natural audience of true believers and the secular crowd who might just enjoy a good story. Noah is committed to God but a visit to the local market … In this film they take that propensity to an absurd degree by having the characters reference modern cultural tropes and even units of measurement like miles. Additionally, there are multiple scenes with mild peril, including moments when the ark nearly capsizes and its passengers are fearful of drowning. the epic flood, 40 days of rain etc etc) while rewriting the story to include the saving of many people outside Noah's family. The family-friendly Ark Encounter theme park near Cincinnati also features a zoo, zip lines, and timber-frame restaurant. You need to be logged in to continue. 10 out of 13 found this helpful. Abstract philosophical discussions that fit in more in modern Great Britain replace meaningful dialogue. Overview. Noah, a farmer and family man, is instructed by an angel to build an ark in the middle of a desert in order to save both his family and the faithful from a devastating flood. Good Movies. In one scene, the camera cuts to two animals who have seemingly just had sex. ( Log Out /  Language such as "imbecile," "idiot," and "stupid" are used. Golden Sparrow. Panty has overtly large breasts and in one scene is dancing provocatively in a cage. Unique retelling of the Biblical story of Noah and the Ark. It’s really...something. Animals fight, discuss eating each other, and there also moments of peril when the ark nearly capsizes. I feel sick to my stomach for actually watching both parts of this mini-series. In NOAH'S ARK the world has gone to pot and it's up to Noah (Joe Carey) to help God (Ron Von Paulus) start over by building an ark and loading up two of every animal species he can find. Animals are sexualized and dance provocatively toward each other. It looks like an all-ages family movie, but it contains some material that is suggestive, crass, mature, rude, and inappropriate or confusing for younger children. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Animals fight, discuss eating each other, and there also moments of peril when the ark nearly capsizes. Noah's Ark. Another scene has animals canoodling behind a curtain. It has some positive messages about teamwork and some nods to the notions about faith and loyalty found in the original tale. 59:50. Musical king-of-the-beasts blockbuster is powerful, scary. Click here to login or here to sign up. She sees the value of working together for the greater good of the whole community. Noah's Ark 1999 3. The Noah is not a retelling, but An incredible movie with great graphics, story and characters. Did you get along? According to some of the articles that I read, this movie was not intended to have the Christian genre. However, we were critical of the movie prior to its release because we had talked with people we trusted who had seen the movie, including the aforementioned staff member. Noah's Ark. Finding Noah documents various expeditions by different groups and individuals to Mount Ararat to try to find Noah’s Ark, supposedly buried in the glacier ice on the mountain. We display the minimum age for which content is developmentally appropriate. How would you differentiate this movie from Risen which also uses British actors for most of the roles? There’s plenty of real content in the Scriptural narrative on Noah that can be expounded on, yet this creative team chose to ad lib and transpose modern family struggles on top of the story. Why or why not? Have you ever been stuck together with a group of people for a long time, perhaps on a family trip? The editing is terrible, with tons of wasted time and useless scenes, which we will see more of next. What examples of teamwork can you give from the movie? Don't the executives at NBC have any class? There is one reference to the "deep, dark halls of hell." This is just one example of how little effort was put into this movie by the writers. Sam Wollaston. Thank you for your support. Your privacy is important to us. Noah's Ark … See our. Good Movies. The camera work is just okay—there are too many outside shots ruined by poor angles that catch too much sunlight. Movies / Religion | By The Dispatch . In one scene, the camera cuts to two animals who have seemingly just had sex. Not true to the Biblical account. Aronofsky’s story of Noah and his ark is far-removed from our collective recollections of Sunday school pageants and Cecil B. DeMille extravaganzas. Noah's Ark is a 1928 American epic romantic melodramatic disaster film directed by Michael Curtiz and starring Dolores Costello and George O'Brien.The story is by Darryl F. Zanuck.The film was released by the Warner Bros. studio. We won't share this comment without your permission. The Ark {Noah’s Ark} [2015] (Movie Review) Plot Summary. With David Threlfall, Joanne Whalley, Ashley Walters, Don Warrington. Want to help us help them? But I will say that 15 years old can watch this film with no trouble. Well, we have seen the movie, and an AiG staff member saw a cut of the film a few months ago, so this objection is irrelevant now. In another overly British production loosely based on Biblical events, Noah and his family are depicted as an angry, dysfunctional unit fighting to survive on their agricultural incomes in a world full of atheists and hedonists. Character is hit over the head with a wooden plank. Several instances of cartoonish violence, such as when a pineapple falls on an animal's head or when two characters have a sword fight. Why is teamwork such an important character trait to have? Animated feature tells story of Moses; some violence. 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